Barneyism of the Week - A Pact With God

God, if you help me find the sex tape
I am going to make some changes in my life.

I am going to stop sleeping around,
quit drinking so much,
no more shenanigans.

I am going devote my entire life
to doing good deeds and praising your name.

“Is this what you’re looking for Mr. Barney?” - Housekeeper

Never mind bro, found it!

- Barney Stinson

"No Pressure"

How I Met Your Mother