Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
I am not a smoker.
I only smoke in certain situations:
Postcoital, when I’m with Germans,
sometimes those two overlap,
coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom,
precoital, on a sailboat,
the day the Mets are mathmatically eliminated every year,
and, ofcourse, wait for it, cuz lord knows I have,
preganacy scares.
“Why are you smoking right now?” - Ted
I’m always precoital, Ted.
![How I Met Your Mother - Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLJdd1yG7d9EQKv3neElcs-2-_98Yd58PrCkU8U7RSJk0SnSaIrN5AaZ8RJyCGW3jbBEwrTQgcLACA84XeUjzhFvqvZLNWU6jVaNfd9oy987wY1CefWzKJLiblbzspMGK0OBr54kp_6rZH/s200/Barney+Stinson.jpg)